Little carrots

We have always called Asher's fingers little carrots because they look like just that, little carrots, narrow at the top and wider at the bottom. We even call him "Carrots" sometimes. Tonight for dinner he was not eating, as usual, so I devised a plan. He loves to dip anything in anything, so I got salad dressing and poured it on his plate hoping he would dip his salmon and asparagus and eat it. He fell right into my trap and ate most of his meal. Near the end when he was full, he looked at me and said, "Dip careddots.", and dipped the tips of his fingers into the dressing. It was so cute because he never calls his own fingers carrots. Oh, the things that amuse me.

I can't believe it's the end of June!

Where is time going? We have been in and out of town so much since school got out that I have gotten absolutely nothing accomplished. I did pick up some boxes the other day but they are sitting in my living room, empty.

We decided to try a new diet approach as Logan couldn't take weight watchers anymore. So we are doing South Beach. So far, so good. It's basically a meat and veggie type of diet for the first two weeks. So I went to the grocery store and stocked up on meat and produce, I actually didn't even have to venture into the middle section except to buy vanilla extract and jello. Who knew that carrots are full of sugar and you can't eat them in phase I of sb? This is not a real burden for me as I see eating carrots every day as a type of penance that I pay to lose weight. We'll see, ww has alway worked for me (when I'm actually doing it), so I'm a little reluctant to do anything else.

A cautionary tale

Today the Maxima was absolutely out of gas. I am of the mindset that since I so rarely drive the car, it is certainly not my responsibility to stand there and pump one hundred gallons into it's huge tank. Today, however, I was not going to make it home if I didn't put something in, boo. So I stop at the gas station, pull up to the pump, and turn off the car. I decided that it would stay cooler in the car if I didn't roll the windows down because of the tinting (we have received several tickets/warning for it to let you know how dark it is) and the shade.

I get out of the car, swipe my card like I always do, and nothing happens. I do this two more times, turn the card around, despite the picture showing me this was not the right way, and still, nothing happens. I then decide to go with convention and read the directions on the pump, maybe something had changed since the last time I pumped gas. Nope, followed the directions and still nothing. At this point I grab the keys, lock the doors and run inside to see what the deal is. Less than a minute had elapsed at this point. I would have just backed up to the pump behind me, but I was afraid I had put my debit card in for the next person to use. I could see Asher the whole time and just wanted the guy to come out and fix the pump.

I go in and the guy behind the counter tries to explain what to do. I'm getting extremely impatient at this point because I didn't just land from Mars, I know how to pay at the pump. We go back outside and he tries the card, doesn't work, so he's like, "gee, I guess I need to put a sign up." I thought about saying something nasty, but his child was in my class this year, and was hanging out smiling at me. At this point about three minutes have elapsed since I pulled up to the pump.

I get back into the car and glance back in the rearview mirror and Asher is crying his eyes out sweating profusely. I mean sweat was pouring down his face and beading on his nose. He's saying, "bye-bye, home, pease, bye-bye". He was roasting! I didn't think it was that hot in the car, but I guess that fuzzy carseat was making him so hot that he was miserable. It was so sad that I took him home and gave him Crystal Light because I knew he would suck it down and rehydrate. I can't imagine how parents who accidentally left their kids in the car feel; I felt horrible, and it was only a few minutes. Never again! I guess he goes inside the gas station with me the next time this happens, stupid Maxima.

Why you don't take a toddler to the doctor

With you, to your doctor, not his doctor. I have to go get blood drawn until my beta hcg gets down to five or below. This week, I decided, I'll take Asher, they do it so quickly that he will be fine. This is where the thinking process broke down. Asher's attention span is about 3.2 seconds. Did I think that the check in, waiting, blood draw, and check out were going to be over in 3.2 seconds? Evidently I did, because I proceeded with the plan.

We get to the office at 1:39, thinking that the nurses got back from lunch at 1:30. Oh no, they weren't going to return until 2:00. Something in my heart told me to run, come back later, never come back, whatever, just DON'T sit and wait. I rationalized the fear away and sat down to wait. I sat for 2 seconds before Asher wanted to "'un, 'un, 'un, 'ast, 'ast, 'ast!" (run, run, run, fast, fast, fast). We were there alone so not such a big deal. Then people started trickling in for their appointments.

The first lady was lucky enough to become the object of his undying affection. He hung on her legs and begged her to "hold, hold". Then lady number two stole his heart, or rather her purse did. He did everything he could to charm her into getting into her bag. Mean old mommy kept stepping in to foil his plans. Then came the piece de resistance, a lady with a little girl and a brand new sleeping baby. He was determined to hug the little girl and hold the baby. There was no stopping him. I would let him go over and get about eight feet away, and he would throw himself on the floor and cry because he wasn't touching her. I finally sat down with a book and made him sit on my lap. He took his gigantic head and slammed it into my mouth as hard as he could.

This is the point where I almost lost it and threw him in the floor. It hurt SO BAD! My tooth is still a little numb two days later. He, of course, was crying because it hurts to hit your head (no matter how hard) on someone's front tooth. After about 30 seconds I regained my composure and hissed at him under my breath, "I know it hurts, and it's what you DESERVE." Yeah, I know that really made an impression.

This all went down in the 22 minutes it took for my name to be called. I just gave him my purse while the nurse drew blood and let him chew all the gum with the wrappers. This will be an experience not soon repeated.

Funny things Asher is saying

As Asher gets older and more vocal, he gets funnier and funnier. I don't know what's normal for kid his age, so of course, I think he's pretty smart. This week the two funniest things he's saying:

"Mommy, gee-up, pease." (Mommy get up, please)
There is no slacking around here, if you sit down, or even worse, lie down on the floor, he is immediately tugging on your shoulder repeating this phrase until you comply.

"Mommy baaht dat to-wuh." (Mommy bite that toe)
This originated from me telling him that alligators were mean and would bite his toe. Then one day he started asking me to "bite toe", and it has evolved into this. He sounds like he was born in the heart of Franklin county, for those of you not in VA, this is the equivalent of a Texas accent with a twang.

Bear with me,

this is long and boring, but I just wanted to tell someone about it. I have been in Roanoke for a week. Last night I was babysitting Sophie, along with Asher, so cooking dinner was absolutely out of the question. I got my credit card out to order a pizza and left it on the desk at my parents' house. So I am without money, cards, license, etc.

So after church today, I come home to get Logan's card (he wasn't with me) to buy lunch at Wendy's. In order to get onto our street, you have to go through a major four way intersection. So I sat at the light waiting to turn onto our street. As I'm sitting there I have the revelation, "Oh, I don't need Logan's card, I just got $20 in cash at Walmart the other day." So I wait for the light to change, turn right onto our street, make a u-turn and get back in line to go straight through the light. As I'm sitting there waiting for the light, I have revelation number two, "Oh, I didn't just leave my card, I also left the cash." So I have to sit at the light, go straight, and make another u-turn, wait, and go straight back through the light on my street.

So at this point, I have sat through three of the four sides of the intersection with Asher in the backseat saying, "kitchen for tunny" (chicken for tummy) because I told him at the beginning of this we were going to get some lunch. Sheesh!

And the nominations will surely come for the Mommy of the Year Award now

Today we went to a water park in Dublin for Asher and Sophie (Jessica's little girl) to have a little fun. Asher had a great time! He was in and out of the baby pool one hundred times and floated around beautifully. I could actually sit on the side and have a conversation and watch him at the same time. I kept him greased up with sunscreen, and he didn't get the least bit burned. So we are three for three at this point, lots of fun, no drowning incidents, and no sunburn.

This is the point where things get a little hairy. I applied spray suncreen and went to get him a popsicle while it dried. I got this thing called a vanilla mini because I wanted something quick and easy. Because I am a genius, I didn't look at the list of ingredients, and he reacted. His lips swelled and his tummy hurt (ummy hu-wut). Thankfully it was a very mini amount, so he didn't stop breathing, but I was standing there panicking with the epi-pen on standby. I have emailed Schwan's to get a list of ingredients to see if it had eggs or if we have a new allergy. We have been doing a little bit of eggs on the advice of our allergist, so I don't know if they have built up in his system or what. His lips are back to normal now but not before Jessica had a great time making fun of him, poor baby.